I gave birth to my babies at home in a birthing tub. I loved the way hot baths made my very pregnant body feel weightless and free to move about. When it came time to welcome these little miracles into my life, having them at home in a pool of warm water seemed natural for me. I recall the moment of transition right before it was time to push them out into the world. That moment when your contractions are so close together and so large you feel as if you are drowning in waves of pain. I remember not being able to catch my breath, not being able to get on top of the waves, not seeing an end in sight and wondering if I would make it. I even remember wishing someone would just shoot me and get it over with!
Life has many transitions. We are constantly changing and evolving. Some of our transitions are instant but most take time to work through. When my brother was killed in a car accident my life went through an instant transition. He was gone....in one breath, my life instantly changed. Other transitions take time. Losing weight takes just as long as it did to gain it, weeks, months or perhaps even years.
As we grow and work our way through the transitions in our lives it is good to have something to focus on. During labor and delivery I focused on breathing deeply and slowly, no matter how much pain I was in. when my brother died, breathing was my way through transition. Before I would enter any door, I would stop and take a deep breath, then I would move forward. I did this as I went to the hospital to view his body, as I went to the funeral home to talk about arrangements, as I went into the church to participate in his memorial service. Deep cleansing breaths got me through.
Today, I am in another transition. We are moving and I am very excited about it. We are moving closer to family members and back to my home town. I am very excited and anxious and impatient for it to all be over with. As I have been preparing for this move I have found myself going through many different emotions. Excitement, anticipation, fear, joy, disbelief, discouragement and exhaustion just to name a few.
Throughout this process I have noticed an increase in stress and exhaustion during this final stage of moving. During this transition, right before the big push....I have noticed a need to stop and breathe again. Funny how we have to be reminded to stop and breathe occasionally. It is the fastest way for me to reconnect with my core values, my big picture goals.
It is my core values that guide me and keep me at peace. Why did I have my kids at home without drugs? Because I am crazy! No, seriously though, it was in alignments with my core values. When my brother died my value was to allow myself to fully experience and feel whatever I needed to in order to get through his death. And now, as we prepare to move across the state and leave our home of 10 years my core value is relationships.
What needs to take place in my life to strengthen and preserve my relationships? Moving closer to family is in perfect alignment with that value. When I can take a minute or two and reconnect with the "why" behind what I am doing, it makes all the "doing" seem so much more doable - even among boxes, sleepless nights, long car rides, hours of house hunting, discussions about large sums of money, and making huge decisions.
Change is all around us. We can't stop it, but we can learn to breathe our way through our transitions. We can also learn to stop and ask ourselves, "What is my reason, my core value, the biggest rock in my bucket, at this moment in time?" When you have that answer, simply guide the change around it and you will stay on course!
Ah, clarity is such a gift!
